Rituals revive energy and vitality in midlife. They are like maps and guide us through life. Routines simply get us through the day. Finding ways to create and thrive with rituals helps ground us in a world that often feels chaotic. You may be thinking, “But I am a very structured person and make the most out of my 24 hours”. That isn’t the point. Let’s define the difference between your daily routine to looking forward to your rituals. Here’s the breakdown.
Routines are concrete, repetitive actions that help us develop skills while creating continuity and order. They ground us and create familiarity. Rituals, on the other hand, are routines that are elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning. They revitalize our energy and vitality – something every midlifer should be hungry for. A ritual is a fixed sequence of actions to create a specific atmosphere or outcome. They are symbolic acts that help people connect with important values, principles, or goals, and are a way of showing that you care about something. Rituals are also an opportunity to reflect on your beliefs and priorities. By connecting with these values through daily actions, they become more real. Ritual is mindfulness in action.
The truth is, we humans are ritual beings. We ritualize everything from birth to death to the way we make our morning coffee. And there’s a reason: ritual is a way of putting a pin in the map of our lives and saying “this matters”—a way of marking the important moments in our days, seasons, and years. Inviting the concept of ritual into our daily lives converts the mundane into the significant. Jogging every morning is an exercise routine. Walking in the woods with your spouse or friends every Sunday afternoon is a ritual for spending quality time together in nature. Setting the table each night is a routine. Decorating the table with flowers, candles, and special china is a ritual for a perfect date night. The difference is in the details and what they symbolize for us.
When we find ourselves in our midlife years, so many of our rituals have faded and or forgotten about. We feel low in energy and are not motivated to bring our rituals to the forefront of our planning, or don’t want to bother trying to create new rituals. Wake yourself up if this sounds like you – now is the time! We have so many habits/patterns and routines from all the years we have accumulated that now it’s time to get back in touch with our values and which ones are most significant in our midlife. A ritual requires intent and engagement. Aligning ourselves with our inner voices. We have an abundance of content in what fuels us (our mojo) and what sucks the living daylight out of our breath. It’s time to call up the wisdom that is already inside of us and create harmony through rituals we will carry with us in our remaining years. It’s very exciting. The door is open for us to go back to the rituals we let go of because we told ourselves we are too old to continue them (i.e. putting tiny marshmallows on our hot chocolate when we come in from the cold and watching a rerun of the Brady Bunch with our favorite plaid flannel blanket wrapped around our legs) or completely design and implement brand new rituals; ones that resonate with us, are align with our values and as a result give us energy. We get to choose how to find that “pep” back in our steps!
Luckily, creating a meaningful ritual isn’t difficult. It takes discipline and the belief that we are worthy of our own time and our rituals. Begin by taking these two steps that will start the conversation with yourself and possibly your loved ones if you are creating rituals with others.
The first step is to decide what your ritual is about. See if you can sum up the intention or purpose of your ritual in one word. Get out your journal and write down the patterns/habits that are positive and resonate with you. What routines have you been doing that bring you great satisfaction or results you are proud of, or find you feeling joy or complete? For example, my morning ritual is about “self-connection.” I have a habit of writing in my journal. I have a habit of desiring a cup of hot green tea with cream. I have a habit of listening to my playlist of Chill music on a low volume. Now I have made it my ritual. Every morning, I start my day with a ritual with these habits/routine wrapped into a calming bow, and it is all about me connecting with myself. My mindset goes into a positive mode, and I am in such a great mindset after completing this ritual. It is a beautiful ritual and I love it! Other ideas might be rituals of release, celebration, honoring, completion, or healing, for example. A strong and clear intention is the root structure of your ritual, so it’s worth taking the time to contemplate, really considering what your ritual means to you, and why it matters.
The second step in designing your ritual is to brainstorm what actions or processes come to your mind when you think of the intention you’ve just set.
When I think of beginnings, I think of planting seeds or stepping over thresholds. For me, a ritual of celebration must include cake and community. This part of your ritual design process is wildly creative and benefits from mind maps and friends to brainstorm with. It’s also the most important step to creating a ritual that is authentic to you and that functions in the way a ritual should: to be so meaningful and resonant that its intention lives in your body, mind, and spirit. In other words, if full moons and bonfires don’t spring to mind when thinking about creating a releasing ritual, or if being wrapped in a toilet paper “gown” at your bridal shower doesn’t float your boat, then this is your chance to make this process your very own. Be in tune with your inner voice, and the actions and processes will show themselves through your intuition. Enjoy the flow!
The Wonder Catalyst 